Hitting women in Islam is mentioned in the Qur’an in one verse: ‘…But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them …’ [An-Nisa’, 4: 34] Arrogance or ill-conduct in this verse means social or ethical defiance which equates to her refusing to perform her duties towards her husband. Although such duties are considered to be a husband’s rights over her, his duties towards her are the wife’s rights.

Dealing with such defiance, God [swt] has advised men to discipline their wives by advising them politely, and by reminding them with what God [swt] has ordered them to do for their husbands as a wife. If this does not work, God [swt] has given the husband the right to refuse to share the same bed with her in order to force her to do her duties. In addition, if this also does not work, God [swt] has given the husband the right to show his disapproval to such ill-conduct by hitting her gently without leaving any marks or bruises whatsoever, just as a gesture to express his anger and disapproval. However, he should try every other possible way to express his disapproval and to discipline his wife. This has never been an obligation in Islam. All scholars have agreed that hitting one’s wife, though permissible, should be avoided as much as possible. Likewise, a man should be disciplined and hit if he does something to hurt his wife.^[1]

When, at the time of the Prophet [pbuh], many men were hitting their wives, the wives went to the Prophet [pbuh] complaining, so he [pbuh] scolded those men, his companions; and was angry with them. He [pbuh] said, ‘Lots of women have been coming to my family complaining about their husbands hitting them; such husbands are not doing themselves good.’ [Abu Dawud and Ad-Darimi]

Hence, the Sunnah of the Prophet [pbuh], which Muslims should follow, discourages beating women. The Prophet [pbuh] never beat his wives, even though hitting one’s wife using a tooth stick [miswak] as a sign of disapproval for her stubbornness regarding her ill-conduct, is permitted. In some cultures, women see this kind of hitting as a sign of masculinity and manhood. In other cultures, such as in the West, they are not familiar with this way. The Qur’an has been sent down to all people and for all times and places. So, the Qur’an considers the differences among all kinds of environments and cultures. If these differences were not considered, they would have led to the instability, failure and destruction of families.

This is not just a theory but it is proven in reality. If the religious texts of Muslims encouraged them to beat their wives and to be unjust to them, this would be apparent in their everyday lives. And, if they encouraged them to show mercy and love, that would be apparent as well. God [swt] says: ‘Vegetation from good land comes forth [easily] with the permission of its Lord; and that which is bad, brings forth nothing but [a little] with difficulty…’ [Al-A‘raf  7: 58] Also, Jesus [pbuh] said, ‘From their fruits one knows them, can one get grapes out of thorns or can one get figs out of boxthorns.

If there are any cases these days of domestic violence among Muslims it is because the people involved have failed to properly understand the Islamic teachings. The majority of Muslims are not violent; they do not beat or torture. On the contrary, many Muslim men respect and cherish women. Sadly, in many places around the world, including the West, statistics show that hitting women is common.

The idea of beating a woman is a disaster that should be confronted by all people. Muslim scholars are against beating women. The Prophet [pbuh] has clarified that the relationship between a man and a woman should be based on love, intimacy and mercy. Hitting a woman contradicts the example of the Prophet [pbuh] who said, ‘How could a man hit his wife like a slave all day, and then be intimate with her at night?’ [Al-Bukhari and Al-Bayhaqi] This Hadith is proof against those who say that Islam gives the man the right to beat his wife.

[1]For example, deflowering one’s wife in an illegitimate unnatural way is an act which necessitates punishment. The scholars say: ‘Deflowering one’s wife using the hand is forbidden and whoever does this is to be punished.’